The Mirror

The glossy blue pools stare back at me
searching
Piercing through the reflection I search
wondering
How what I see makes
the tumbling mess inside of me

I wonder what other eyes see
When they look, as I, into the blue
Does the heart
that swims, plummets and pounds,
seep out?
Does the blistering tear
I feel at the edge
glimmer?
Does the heavy warmth
that hold my heart tight
glow?

If it was anyone but me
peering into my reflection
what would they read?

I'm Closed

I've blocked it, I've bolted it.
I'm keeping it shut.
I watch you through the glass
My shoulder to the door.

I expect you to lunge
I expect you to shove
To twist and to push
To try to bang down the door

Instead with a questioning look
You pull out a key
I flush with recognition
I tighten my grip

Unnerving puzzlement faltered my guard
Who placed it with you,
Or where you had found it
I'm determined never to know

I don't care who sent you
I don't care how it seems
I'm guarding my heart
because I've learned not to trust

There's no coming in here
so turn back, give up
You wouldn't be the first here
It's happened before...

"Love" has happened before,
But I'm sorry, I'm closed.

Return Me to Innocence

Turn my face away
Lay your fingers across my eyes
Put to sleep what I know
Say the prayer for me

Lay me down amongst the silk
Drape me in the white sheet
Close me in the dark
Quenching away what I've seen

So when my eyes open again
Pure light is all my joy
To Death with the old and
Return me to Innocence

To know You More

Let me know what you think about this one. I only have a few written in this style. It has more of a storytelling rhyming style then most of my poems and its really long. I wonder if it is too long and if there is a better way to tell this story. I also don't want it to sound corny.

To know You More

I feel I've lost my first love
Somehow the gap is widening
I wonder what I really know about You
I know I still love You, but what more?

I feel a growing disconnection
I know it's me; I hear You calling.
I don't know how to answer.
I know You still love me.

I cry silently in the dark.
My heart sighs heavily.
Lost without answers,
A soul searching for more.

I know the "Sunday School" answers
I know the list "To Do"
With all I know about,
I still want to know more about You

I wish You could just be here
In front of me to talk
To give me a hug, a smile
That says it's alright

I turn in the dark
"Please God" I whisper
I just want to know You
Why can't You just come

Instead of a sign, vision, or calling
I sit thinking it's unfair
If only I could have been
One of the ones with You there

How close they had been
How much they must know You
Every moment with You
filled with hearts overflowing

When my mind is quiet and still
A whisper floats through
Not out of the dark
But softly on my heart

"All they know, felt about me, and more
I've given to you.
Together, for perfection, we wrote it.
It's there beside you, My love letter."

"I want you to know Me.
We wrote it for you.
The more you know Me,
The more you'll love Me, it's true."

I felt the warmth of a hug,
The freshness of a kiss.
I knew He had told me
All of this

With excitement inside
I turned on the light
And began to read, my heart yearning
To know You more

I want to be your Moses
Speaking with you on Mountains
Shining with your light
After standing in your presence

I want to be your David
Producing poems and ballads
Filled with ageless love
One after your own heart

I want to be your Mary
To sit at your feet
Drinking in your every word
Choosing what is best

I want to be your John
Your closest friend
Always by your side
Your Disciple you love

I want to be more, but I'm just me
Trying, failing, and messing up again
To be for you, a little of what you are to me

To follow in her footsteps

The mix matched worn out slippers.
I could hear them shuffling up the stairs.
The thin plastic grips on the bottom
rubbing the carpet as she pulls herself up to my room.

I hear her start down the hallways.
I know what comes next,
the lightbulb from the hall flips off of course,
can't be wasting electricity.
I the distance I hear the sound of toys and boxes
being clumsily pushed aside by her feet in the dark.
I know where she is at,
she's at my brothers room shoveling a pathway through the door.
It becomes quiet.
I hear the distant, muffled voices.
I know she is there, kneeling by the bed, praying.
She'll be in my room soon.

There it is again,
the sound of the padded feet
searching for the right pathway out through the dark.
Closer they come, slish, slash, down the hallway.
The door starts creaking.
I know it's my door, it is slowly opening.
I see her silhouette in the darkness.
A soft whisper calls out, I answer.
The shuffling moves closer, I feel her next to me.
She places one hand on my back and the other in my hand.
She begins praying.

Marry Me

Marry me Godzilla
Keep away Superman
Don't give me someone
flying from one to the next
Instead give me someone
that keeps me by his side
and tears up all the rest


Copyright 2003

The Light

Sleepless days are verging on the wake of sweetless things
Shadows leap to remind me of the breathless fears below
Forces push against me, as I crave to openly collapse
Dreams of peaceful nights, haunt my restless ones
The ache of neverending creeps at the corners of my mind
The light I hold fights the fears around me
focusing brings peace, memories bring joy
Remembering the love this is always surrounding me
Cleanses away all that threatens to bring me sorrow

Oh be careful

Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the glorious wonder you behold
might only be the lies you yourself have told

Oh be careful little lips what you say
For the quick words your hearts wants to speak
Might be regretted words you would never repeat

Oh be careful little heart what you feel
For the little tremble, dips, and sighs and all they seam to mean
Might not be real

Lover's Beloved

Beloved

And I thought of my Lover
None is more wise, He is full of wisdom
Oh, to hear his voice,
sweeter then the morning song

The Enemy

He is not your Lover
He can never be
He is to majestic to want such wimsy love
A Lover no, only a lofty Majesty

Beloved

I am not wise, what you say must be true
Majestic He is, high in his thrown
With his mighty hand outstretched
Justice does he rule

I cower in its shadow
Low and but a servant am I
He is my MAster
I will never leave his side

Though not my lover
Worthy of all of me He is
All my life I owe

Lover

Why are you downcast? Why does your heart turn away?
What lies have you been listening?
Does it take but such a little
to forget the words I say

don't you remember when I said I loved you
Have my word so soon begun to fade?
Don't you see the banner I have put over you?

Listen what I tell you
I have created you and am your Master
which is why you serve me by your side

I have died because I loved you
So that my Bride you may be
And as a Bride serves her husband,
so you will also serve me

Beloved

Were that I could deserve your love
that I would never fail
Never will you stop holding me
Lover of my soul

**This one still needs a lot of work*****

Confusions

When my heart cannot speak
For what it does not know
My eyes try to cry
For the pain it cannot feel
My slow breath cannot sigh
For what it doesn't miss
Although I cannot tell you why
This isn't happiness

By Faith

Is this what it felt like when Abel,
after feeling the joy of pleasing God,
felt the anger from his brother?

Is this what it felt like when Noah
turned his back on his old life,
to ensure a better one for his family?

Is this what it felt like when Abraham
left his friends, his family, his home,
to go to the new land He had promised?

Is this what it felt like when Abraham
walked Isaac up the mountain
just because God had told him to?

Is this what it felt like when Moses
shouldered the responsibilities
of an entire runaway nation?

Is this what is feels like when you know it's right
but you want so much for it to be wrong?

Did they wonder what was happening?
Did they ponder over and over
The many ways God could change things
So that they would seem
a little simpler, a little easier, a little more like they had planned it?

Through it all, it was credited to them as faith
Without faith, we cannot please God

Is this what it feels like to please God?
Or is it something much deeper
Something much happier
Somethings peaceful, and satisfactory

Something that overcomes all other questions
That overcomes all other fears
and rests in the joy of knowing

You have pleased

God


This poem goes with Hebrews 11

The Future Road That lies Ahead

The road stretches before me
I try to see around the bend
Stumbling slightly as I look ahead instead of down
Even though I know where the road ends
Desire consumes me to know what happens along the way
I stop to wonder
What scenery will pass?
What mountains are there to climb?
What streams to cross?
Whose path crosses mine?
Whose will join mine?
Whose only follows alongside for a time?
The wind whispers and hear His quiet voice
Lovingly He guide my eyes to where I tripped
to where my feet are standing still
He tells me I must take my eyes from wandering ahead
I must focus on the steps before me
Lest the smallest things trip me, or I wander from the path
I must stop questioning the future
go forward, move into it and experience it
Bowing my head I focus on my small steps
Praying God will lead my way
Keep me safe, and help my eyes and heart to stop wandering

And they fashioned for themselves an Idol...And mine was called Love

You creep into my heart, I pretend not to notice
a slow obsession starts
I want to hold back, to fight and refrain
Love has no reason for obsession
My heart is already carefully held in tender hands
Held by the Beautiful one
I cannot, will not, must not, move Him or Replace Him
Always must He be first
In my heart, in my mind, in my body
The struggle continues all day, and into my dreams
I must hold you beneath Him
And idol must never grow from you, He is a jealous God
One small idol would soon grow to a consuming fire
I shall not give Him reason to be jealous
First must I seek Him, Him first must I love
I must only do and love for Him
This is where I must keep my focus
So that, whether imaginary or real,
Love does not become an idol

Memories Fire

Tonight I'll take your smile
Tomorrow the memories fire
Never near me, Always away
The fire burns, but fires die
You smile and the world shakes
You smile and the sun rises and shines
You smile and the birds sing
You smile and all is still
You smile and the sun sets on it
Today all I take is the memory
Tomorrow I'll make a new one
Never near me, Always away
Memories only, but Memories change

For all creation to sing Holy

Your voice pulls me out of slumber
The sun shining through the rain
Today you smiled at me, and I smiled back
And all the morning sang
Holy, Holy, Holy! Is the God on high

I felt my heart being pulled asunder
I felt my heart being pulled down
And I remembered your smile
And I remembered their song
Holy, Holy, Holy! Is your God on high

Higher then the heavens
Higher into your presence
Was my heart lifted
lifted to your glory, there to sing with the angels
Holy, Holy, Holy! Is our God on high

Frantic I was looking, so I closed my eyes
Then my eyes were filled with you
humble peace from you overwhelmed my heart
And then my heart cried
Holy, Holy, Holy! Is my God on High!


This song was inspired by Sufjan Stevens song He Woke Me Up Again

The Undying Love

I sit and listen to your cries as you long to break free
We both wish to be free
you from your cage, and me from my heart
The moaning cry echos through the cold empty room
empty as my heart is, which was once filled with you
The dragging, puttering thumps mimics my own heart
Once all was alive for you, now all is dead and rotting
My love for you is as your mangled flesh
hanging on to a lifeless form
I keep you free in the cage, yet trapped
by trapping you, I have trapped myself
For if the sever your head, they sever my heart
In cage I have confined you,
and in a cage you have my heart
Long will you live, alive with my love
and when it dies,
so will you


Just so you know this was a challenge topic from a friend, not something I was actually thinking about and wanting to write about :)

I don't have to smell the roses

I don’t have to smell the roses
All I need are a few wildflowers
A broken limb held to the tree by a wild vine
A family of ducks pecking at the grass
A broken wooden fence scaling a weed filled acre
A lonely wispy cloud the single skies decoration
An early crescent moon pushing the sun down
A dirt road surrounded by wood
A single weed proclaiming its beauty among the grass
A floating feather from a winter flock
I don’t need to stop and smell the roses,
To realize a great artists work is continually being created all around me

Who am I, that You should love me so?

Who gives you beauty like Me
Who can know your heart as I do?
Only I know when to make the choicest blossoms bloom for you
Only I can turn on the music that plays your heart melodies
Only I know the perfect hues and blends of colors that make your heart sigh
Only I know where to put the moon
Where to paint the sunset
Where to place the clouds so that when I tell you "look!" you see the sun and its colors radiating from it
I say "Look!" and the lamplight glows on the sidewalk
"Look!" for the sun is turning colors
"Look!" for the baby bird is playing
"Look!" the moons crescent holds the corners of the masterpiece set for you
Who knows your heart like me?

gone

Why can't I just forgive and forget

Do I even know what to forgive, or who?
You took it, and it changed me.

You took my innocence without a blink.
It changed me
Maybe I blindingly gave it to you
Maybe I tied my own blindfold
it changed me
Maybe it was the blindfold not the innocence that made it happen
but at least you could have said
thank you
maybe you were blindfolded too..but by who
who
it's easier to think its you,
but I only feel myself