River of Dreams
Dreams may come true, so they say,
But I'm still waiting for mine.
I wished upon a star, one bitter winter night
Then someone told me to stop reaching for the moon.
All I had ever wanted was a wish,
All I had ever needed was a dream.
But they lay in the night sky quietly blinking down at me
Who can touch the stars?
Who can reach the moon?
I stare at this lonely river and realize it is only me
I stand here, a heart filled with dying hopes
Staring at the unreachable jewels
My dreams seem so distant and far
For, reaching for your dreams
Is like reaching for the moon.
There reflecting on the river my hope sleeps
I step into the stars as they drift along
beside me. my legs wading deeper
and deeper into the rippling night.
I stride through the rushing current
My hands dive clasping cold moonlight.
I bathe in the soft silver stream
Holding now, in my hands, the moon
2003
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The Moon
I believe i wrote this poem for a poster that I made as a present for nicole for her birthday in high school.
The Moon
The silver rains of your majesty
fast flood the sleepless hills.
You walk among the wild paths strung free
Bathing them in your soft light.
Your bright glittering beams caressing
the now voiceless world below.
You are the queen of the night
Awaken the sweet slumbering woods,
and send men's restless minds peace
The Moon
The silver rains of your majesty
fast flood the sleepless hills.
You walk among the wild paths strung free
Bathing them in your soft light.
Your bright glittering beams caressing
the now voiceless world below.
You are the queen of the night
Awaken the sweet slumbering woods,
and send men's restless minds peace
Slavery to Desire
Creative writing - 2003
Old
Slavery to Desire
I stroll along the Shores of Desire,
Hauntingly they flow beside me.
Gently and peacefully the rhythmic waves
Chant their taunting and woeful words;
Swirling and slivering, encircling round my ankles,
Encompassing me with a bittersweet longing
To twirl and dance with his deadly depths
And allow him to carry me away in his lifeless lullaby.
Softly warming my body, contentment hangs suspended,
Massaging my stiff, sore muscles.
I lay innocently happy, bathing in her beams.
Wistfully she whispers for me to come to her
To find lasting satisfaction in her kindly glow,
Her pure rays suffocating my selfishness
Attempting to quench it dry,
But I run from her for the cool chills of desire call me.
Now, she begins to fade, she cannot stay.
As an ending plea, using her final breath,
She once again implores me to follow
To indulge in the comfort of her warmth.
She paints across the sky a picture of her safety,
Heaven opened wide in dazzling colors spread across the sky.
I see the promise, I feel the hope,
But I have chained my hands
My tongue is wet with thirst
For what I cannot drink.
I turn, only to see the bleak, dark sorrow that follows.
Revised
Enslaved by Desire
I stroll along the ocean of desire.
Hauntingly he beckons to me.
Gently and peacefully his rhythmic waves
Chant their taunting and woeful words;
Swirling and slithering, circling round my ankles,
Encompassing me with a bittersweet longing
To twirl and dance with his deadly depths
And allow him to carry me away in his lifeless lullaby.
Softly warming my body, contentment hangs suspended,
Massaging my stiff, sore muscles.
I lay innocently happy, bathing in her beams.
Wistfully she whispers for me to stay with her
To find lasting satisfaction in her kindly glow,
Her pure rays stifling my selfishness
Attempting to wrench it dry,
But I run from her for the cool chills of desire call me.
Now, she begins to fade, she cannot stay.
As an ending plea, using her final breath,
She once again implores me to follow
To bask in the comfort of her warmth.
She paints across the sky a picture of her safety,
Heaven opened wide in dazzling colors spread across the sky.
I see the fleeting promise, I feel the fading hope,
But I have chained my hands
Drenched and shivering I lie.
I rise, only to see the bleak, dark sorrow that follows.
Old
Slavery to Desire
I stroll along the Shores of Desire,
Hauntingly they flow beside me.
Gently and peacefully the rhythmic waves
Chant their taunting and woeful words;
Swirling and slivering, encircling round my ankles,
Encompassing me with a bittersweet longing
To twirl and dance with his deadly depths
And allow him to carry me away in his lifeless lullaby.
Softly warming my body, contentment hangs suspended,
Massaging my stiff, sore muscles.
I lay innocently happy, bathing in her beams.
Wistfully she whispers for me to come to her
To find lasting satisfaction in her kindly glow,
Her pure rays suffocating my selfishness
Attempting to quench it dry,
But I run from her for the cool chills of desire call me.
Now, she begins to fade, she cannot stay.
As an ending plea, using her final breath,
She once again implores me to follow
To indulge in the comfort of her warmth.
She paints across the sky a picture of her safety,
Heaven opened wide in dazzling colors spread across the sky.
I see the promise, I feel the hope,
But I have chained my hands
My tongue is wet with thirst
For what I cannot drink.
I turn, only to see the bleak, dark sorrow that follows.
Revised
Enslaved by Desire
I stroll along the ocean of desire.
Hauntingly he beckons to me.
Gently and peacefully his rhythmic waves
Chant their taunting and woeful words;
Swirling and slithering, circling round my ankles,
Encompassing me with a bittersweet longing
To twirl and dance with his deadly depths
And allow him to carry me away in his lifeless lullaby.
Softly warming my body, contentment hangs suspended,
Massaging my stiff, sore muscles.
I lay innocently happy, bathing in her beams.
Wistfully she whispers for me to stay with her
To find lasting satisfaction in her kindly glow,
Her pure rays stifling my selfishness
Attempting to wrench it dry,
But I run from her for the cool chills of desire call me.
Now, she begins to fade, she cannot stay.
As an ending plea, using her final breath,
She once again implores me to follow
To bask in the comfort of her warmth.
She paints across the sky a picture of her safety,
Heaven opened wide in dazzling colors spread across the sky.
I see the fleeting promise, I feel the fading hope,
But I have chained my hands
Drenched and shivering I lie.
I rise, only to see the bleak, dark sorrow that follows.
Memories
Creative writing - 2003
Memories
Words forever written,
Grasping everything but time.
Words dying softly,
Only remembered for their rhyme.
Blades chipped and torn,
Lead only away from home.
Memories of dying
Memories of night
Memories of loveliness
And memories of Light
Words easily spoken
Are words cast away.
Words bought and filled with care,
Forever in the heart will stay.
Memories
Words forever written,
Grasping everything but time.
Words dying softly,
Only remembered for their rhyme.
Blades chipped and torn,
Lead only away from home.
Memories of dying
Memories of night
Memories of loveliness
And memories of Light
Words easily spoken
Are words cast away.
Words bought and filled with care,
Forever in the heart will stay.
Her Last Dance
From my 2003 OWC creative writing class
Her Last Dance
Bursting into the tingling warmth, we ran,
Flushed with glowing anticipation.
Laughing and giggling, we skipped
Through patches of violets and buttercups,
Our eyes never leaving the delicate swirl
Of colors dancing about us.
Round and round we spun,
Like puppies chasing their tales.
Our nets were swooping misshapen arcs
In the air as they followed our targets.
One, drawn to the deep purple hue,
And sugary scent of the violets,
Glides and spreads her wings upon its silky softness.
She twitched as the wind
Seemed to tickle her wings while
She rested amongst the sweet perfume.
Down flew the nets.
The others pounced on her
Like a hungry tiger pounces on his entrapped prey.
Fluttering helplessly she entangled her wings
Deeper into her death trap.
Awkwardly they thrust their hands in after her,
Yanking and twisting her delicate yellow wings.
As they disfigured her, the velvety powder from her wings
Mingled with the dust and pollen on their hands.
The attraction of her beauty and grace now gone,
They let her flutter to the ground.
Turning they raised their nets and dashed off
To begin again another dance.
Only I remained, to mourn the loss.
Revised
Her Last Dance
Bursting into the tingling warmth, we ran,
Flushed with glowing anticipation.
Laughing and giggling, we skipped
Through patches of violets and buttercups,
Our eyes never leaving the delicate swirl
Of colors dancing about us.
Round and round we spun,
Like puppies chasing their tails.
Our nets were swooping misshapen arcs
In the air as they followed our targets.
One, drawn to the deep purple hue,
And sugary scent of the violets,
Glides and spreads her wings upon its silky softness.
She twitched as the wind
Seemed to tickle her wings while
She rested amongst the alluring aroma.
Down flew the nets.
They pounced on her like vicious
Hunting dogs finalizing their prey.
Fluttering helplessly she became entangled
Deeper into her death trap.
Awkwardly they thrust their hands in after her,
Yanking and twisting her delicate yellow bodice.
As they disfigured her, the velvety powder from her wings
Mingled with the dust and pollen on their hands.
The attraction of her beauty and grace now gone,
They let her flutter to the ground.
Turning they raised their nets and dashed off
To begin again another dance.
Only I remained to mourn the loss.
Her Last Dance
Bursting into the tingling warmth, we ran,
Flushed with glowing anticipation.
Laughing and giggling, we skipped
Through patches of violets and buttercups,
Our eyes never leaving the delicate swirl
Of colors dancing about us.
Round and round we spun,
Like puppies chasing their tales.
Our nets were swooping misshapen arcs
In the air as they followed our targets.
One, drawn to the deep purple hue,
And sugary scent of the violets,
Glides and spreads her wings upon its silky softness.
She twitched as the wind
Seemed to tickle her wings while
She rested amongst the sweet perfume.
Down flew the nets.
The others pounced on her
Like a hungry tiger pounces on his entrapped prey.
Fluttering helplessly she entangled her wings
Deeper into her death trap.
Awkwardly they thrust their hands in after her,
Yanking and twisting her delicate yellow wings.
As they disfigured her, the velvety powder from her wings
Mingled with the dust and pollen on their hands.
The attraction of her beauty and grace now gone,
They let her flutter to the ground.
Turning they raised their nets and dashed off
To begin again another dance.
Only I remained, to mourn the loss.
Revised
Her Last Dance
Bursting into the tingling warmth, we ran,
Flushed with glowing anticipation.
Laughing and giggling, we skipped
Through patches of violets and buttercups,
Our eyes never leaving the delicate swirl
Of colors dancing about us.
Round and round we spun,
Like puppies chasing their tails.
Our nets were swooping misshapen arcs
In the air as they followed our targets.
One, drawn to the deep purple hue,
And sugary scent of the violets,
Glides and spreads her wings upon its silky softness.
She twitched as the wind
Seemed to tickle her wings while
She rested amongst the alluring aroma.
Down flew the nets.
They pounced on her like vicious
Hunting dogs finalizing their prey.
Fluttering helplessly she became entangled
Deeper into her death trap.
Awkwardly they thrust their hands in after her,
Yanking and twisting her delicate yellow bodice.
As they disfigured her, the velvety powder from her wings
Mingled with the dust and pollen on their hands.
The attraction of her beauty and grace now gone,
They let her flutter to the ground.
Turning they raised their nets and dashed off
To begin again another dance.
Only I remained to mourn the loss.
Hearts are like sewers
From my creative writing class at OWC way back in 2003
Hearts are like sewers
Hearts are like sewers
They carry the waste of the population.
They are hidden in the bowels of the earth
Forming a complex labyrinth below.
They twist and turn
All leading into each other,
Yet together, in one direction they flow.
The paths bleed together
Towards their common goal.
No one wants to acknowledge that they are there
They feel ashamed,
That they are a weakness.
If the sewage completes its journey
Through the sewers
It is cleaned and filtered,
Then returned home again to nourish
But, without careful care and maintenance
The worst of the muck, clogs the system
And is vented out, into the open
Polluting everyone around.
Revised
Hearts are sewers
Hearts are sewers
Through the diverse scattered entry ways
They begin carrying the waste of the population.
Hidden in the bowels of the earth
They Form a complex labyrinth below
Twisting and turning from secreted beginnings
All leading into one another
The paths bleed together
Towards their common goal
To complete their journey
Where then the sewage is cleaned, filtered
And returned back again to nourish.
When the outside chooses to ignore al but the filth
Then they feel ashamed of the presence underneath
They repel its very existence
Turning blindly to what they feel
Is only a weakness.
But, without careful care and maintenance
Build up will clog the system
And be vented out into the open
Polluting everything around.
Hearts are like sewers
Hearts are like sewers
They carry the waste of the population.
They are hidden in the bowels of the earth
Forming a complex labyrinth below.
They twist and turn
All leading into each other,
Yet together, in one direction they flow.
The paths bleed together
Towards their common goal.
No one wants to acknowledge that they are there
They feel ashamed,
That they are a weakness.
If the sewage completes its journey
Through the sewers
It is cleaned and filtered,
Then returned home again to nourish
But, without careful care and maintenance
The worst of the muck, clogs the system
And is vented out, into the open
Polluting everyone around.
Revised
Hearts are sewers
Hearts are sewers
Through the diverse scattered entry ways
They begin carrying the waste of the population.
Hidden in the bowels of the earth
They Form a complex labyrinth below
Twisting and turning from secreted beginnings
All leading into one another
The paths bleed together
Towards their common goal
To complete their journey
Where then the sewage is cleaned, filtered
And returned back again to nourish.
When the outside chooses to ignore al but the filth
Then they feel ashamed of the presence underneath
They repel its very existence
Turning blindly to what they feel
Is only a weakness.
But, without careful care and maintenance
Build up will clog the system
And be vented out into the open
Polluting everything around.
Blinded
This is another older one from earlier this year
Blinded
Blinded, Broken and Torn,
All I can think of is seeing Your face
Captured, bound in these chains
Free now, in a heavenly place
I wade in the filth of this world
Your love it washes me clean
I cut myself, opening old wounds
You touch me, You heal my heart
Your love it covers all sins
Naked I came, and Naked I will return,
But with You I am covered in Your love
Kneeling, amazed by Your grace
In You I am satisfied
From You there is nothing I can hide
You have washed me
You have healed me
You have covered me
How can I turn from You when You are all I need
Blinded
Blinded, Broken and Torn,
All I can think of is seeing Your face
Captured, bound in these chains
Free now, in a heavenly place
I wade in the filth of this world
Your love it washes me clean
I cut myself, opening old wounds
You touch me, You heal my heart
Your love it covers all sins
Naked I came, and Naked I will return,
But with You I am covered in Your love
Kneeling, amazed by Your grace
In You I am satisfied
From You there is nothing I can hide
You have washed me
You have healed me
You have covered me
How can I turn from You when You are all I need
Old poems
Some really old poems
Renewal
Sorrow this day,
as the hours roll away
and so weary I tread
my feet heavy as lead
and I cry out in pain,
But it all is in vain,
for my voice so still
echoes so shrill
to show only more my loneliness.
Then I laid on my bed,
as tears my eyes fled,
And I cried out to God
to help me fight against the odds-
I felt the tears wiped from my face,
and my body being embraced-
And my heart lifted anew,
and released forever from its pain
Love
Love unchanging, love remaining,
Here to stay with us all.
Threw every blessing and dreaded trial
Love is here all the while.
Though some may not se it,
Though heart breaks felt,
Love will come threw it
Leaving broken dreams forgotten.
Some will deny it. Some will refuse.
And some will end up unheeded broken and bruised;
But love will come threw it and shatter the doubts
For love is forever, wherever and whenever.
The smile
One forlorn smile,
Against the frowns of time,
Reaches across the mile,
And over the mountains climbs;
It deeps beneath the oceans
And fly’s above the clouds,
Then lovingly reaches and grasps away
The fears of a small child.
A rainbow in the clouds
A raindrop in the sun
A sprinkle of doubt in love
A rainbow in the clouds
A mended heart sealed stronger.
Justice
A sword in hand, the weight is laid,
To which side will the victim sway?
No escape can the guilty find,
And only the righteous will find peace of mind.
Sunday
The dawn is now breaking, the sun has not yet come.
Dew is on the roses; the mist blankets the land.
The church bells not yet rung, the town is yet asleep.
The birds are slowly waking, the insects begin to creep
Now dawn is coming for the beginning of the week.
It is the first day; it’s God’s day of rest.
The sun is slowly rising, the colors all aglow
The gray mist will rise, the lands be at there best.
The church bells begin to chime, In twinkling melody
To start again strong and burst forth with superiority.
The town is slowly rising; the drowse sleep is lifting
The birds are up and begin to sing while insects stretch their wings.
The sun id shining brightly, the warm glow alight
The flowers are all budding with beauty in full flight
‘Tis a beautiful day, ‘tis God’s Sunday.
Fantasy of the innocent
I hear the sweat words you say,
Words of love that lift my heart, As high as the sun-
I join him in his radiance, bursting forth with my joy and happiness
A happiness unimaginable.
As far out as the sea,
When standing on the edge of the waking tide
The words you say, so soft you whisper
I think some of my first
Sorrow this day,
as the hours roll away
and so weary I tread
my feet heavy as lead
and I cry out in pain,
But it all is in vain,
for my voice so still
echoes so shrill
to show only more my loneliness.
Then I laid on my bed,
as tears my eyes fled,
And I cried out to God
to help me fight against the odds-
I felt the tears wiped from my face,
and my body being embraced-
And my heart lifted anew,
and released forever from its pain
Love
Love unchanging, love remaining,
Here to stay with us all.
Threw every blessing and dreaded trial
Love is here all the while.
Though some may not se it,
Though heart breaks felt,
Love will come threw it
Leaving broken dreams forgotten.
Some will deny it. Some will refuse.
And some will end up unheeded broken and bruised;
But love will come threw it and shatter the doubts
For love is forever, wherever and whenever.
The smile
One forlorn smile,
Against the frowns of time,
Reaches across the mile,
And over the mountains climbs;
It deeps beneath the oceans
And fly’s above the clouds,
Then lovingly reaches and grasps away
The fears of a small child.
A rainbow in the clouds
A raindrop in the sun
A sprinkle of doubt in love
A rainbow in the clouds
A mended heart sealed stronger.
Justice
A sword in hand, the weight is laid,
To which side will the victim sway?
No escape can the guilty find,
And only the righteous will find peace of mind.
Sunday
The dawn is now breaking, the sun has not yet come.
Dew is on the roses; the mist blankets the land.
The church bells not yet rung, the town is yet asleep.
The birds are slowly waking, the insects begin to creep
Now dawn is coming for the beginning of the week.
It is the first day; it’s God’s day of rest.
The sun is slowly rising, the colors all aglow
The gray mist will rise, the lands be at there best.
The church bells begin to chime, In twinkling melody
To start again strong and burst forth with superiority.
The town is slowly rising; the drowse sleep is lifting
The birds are up and begin to sing while insects stretch their wings.
The sun id shining brightly, the warm glow alight
The flowers are all budding with beauty in full flight
‘Tis a beautiful day, ‘tis God’s Sunday.
Fantasy of the innocent
I hear the sweat words you say,
Words of love that lift my heart, As high as the sun-
I join him in his radiance, bursting forth with my joy and happiness
A happiness unimaginable.
As far out as the sea,
When standing on the edge of the waking tide
The words you say, so soft you whisper
The dancing grass whispers at your feet
as the soft cool waves of air
cascade over and through the blades.
White flecks of light
trimmed in golden yellow
sparkle through the breaks
in the tall thick trees that line
the softly sighing bay.
Cottony whisps of clouds rest above
in sheets of pink and blue.
Sweet notes are playing in the air,
hopping from branch to branch,
peeping from the hearts
of the beautiful and fragile.
Who, when bathing in the
life of this simplistic scene,
would ever want to leave for the
Land of Dreams
Your lie
You lied
I don't know why I cared
that You lied
I knew You were going to lie
I knew while You lied
Maybe I am mad at You
Instead of being mad at myself
because
You were right
when You knew what
I wanted to hear
When You said that You cared
I knew You were lying
I forgive You
That's what You thought I wanted to hear
I don't want You to care
because that's not what You are
I want You
I want openness
I want the truth
When you are so afraid of losing something
that you change yourself
or hide what you are
it isn't worth it
As You hide I lose You
What is left to see isn't
enough to keep my looking
If you want what is real
You have to be real
Stop being what You feel others want you to be
I want you to be You
Loves Quagmire
I saw you struggling
I was scared
I held back
I am free
I let myself care for you
I was scared
I was cautious
I have a heart
I used my heart to help you
My feet are starting to stick
I wanted you to be free
I was scared
I opened up
I struggled to move closer to you
The thickening mud rooted still
You took my heart and used it
I was scared
I am broken
You moved as I reached for you
My empty hands fell into the mud
I am trapt
The more I struggle to be free
The deeper I sink
I am scared
I am bleeding
You seem to be enjoying the mud
you are lying to yourself
I don't lie to you
I see you at the edge
facing the other way
dancing
thinking you are free
Part of me wants to laugh at you
as you sink and sink
because of what I did for you
But the part of me that still bleeds
wants you to be free
Even after what you did to me
Sunday, October 5, 2008
The Emotional Trap
If only I could trap my emotions
Lure them into a trap
capture them, contain them
and study them like a map
I want to see which ones lie to me
As they lead me over the edge
The ones that look like a pleasant road
But if I follow, my soul ends up dead
I want to see which ones snare me
set tripwires, pitfalls, ditches, and holes
I want to be able to know
when I need to act with caution
When I need to start to walk slow
I want to see which ones are real
The ones that I need to follow and let guide me
the ones that will be harder to hang onto
but in the end worth it all
I want to know which ones will last
Not leave me confused, unsatisfied
I need to know which is steady
to be prepared, with no surprises ahead
I need to know which emotions to keep
I need to know which ones I can trust
I don't want to waste time fixing my mistakes
I don't want to be hurt, or hurt others, anymore
I want to trap my emotions in a bottle
And not use them until it is safe
Not use them until I am sure
which Emotions are Wrong or Right
Lure them into a trap
capture them, contain them
and study them like a map
I want to see which ones lie to me
As they lead me over the edge
The ones that look like a pleasant road
But if I follow, my soul ends up dead
I want to see which ones snare me
set tripwires, pitfalls, ditches, and holes
I want to be able to know
when I need to act with caution
When I need to start to walk slow
I want to see which ones are real
The ones that I need to follow and let guide me
the ones that will be harder to hang onto
but in the end worth it all
I want to know which ones will last
Not leave me confused, unsatisfied
I need to know which is steady
to be prepared, with no surprises ahead
I need to know which emotions to keep
I need to know which ones I can trust
I don't want to waste time fixing my mistakes
I don't want to be hurt, or hurt others, anymore
I want to trap my emotions in a bottle
And not use them until it is safe
Not use them until I am sure
which Emotions are Wrong or Right
What do I do when I've stopped caring?
How do I make myself care?
I realize my loss,
my downfall,
my shortcoming.
I want to care more than anything
but I'm too tired,
too stressed,
too scared,
to care
It is my weakness
I want peace
I want to leave it
to sleep
sleep tempts me
Promising me empty lies
comfort
peace
escape from everything
But I know its' trap
Time will keep going
Things will only become worse
The nightmares I dream of while awake
Will no longer be nightmares
But Reality
Sleep calls
How do I escape?
How do I make myself care?
I realize my loss,
my downfall,
my shortcoming.
I want to care more than anything
but I'm too tired,
too stressed,
too scared,
to care
It is my weakness
I want peace
I want to leave it
to sleep
sleep tempts me
Promising me empty lies
comfort
peace
escape from everything
But I know its' trap
Time will keep going
Things will only become worse
The nightmares I dream of while awake
Will no longer be nightmares
But Reality
Sleep calls
How do I escape?
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